IELTS Writing Task 2

Some feel that teenagers shouldn’t be allowed to own smartphones, but others believe that it is important for teenagers to have these devices.  

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.  

ANSWER

Some people think that teenagers should not be permitted to have their own smartphones, while others argue that having these devices is necessary for them. In my opinion,¹ I agree with the second viewpoint because although owning smartphones can make some teenagers addicted to online games, these devices help many study² more effectively.  

Some people argue that teenagers should not be allowed to have their own smartphones because they can become addicted to online games installed on these devices. Once teenagers get their own smartphones, they often download and install various entertainment apps to play during their free time. Without adults’ strict control over the phone usage³, teenagers are likely to spend hours on playing online games and ingnore⁴ more important tasks such as studying or doing exercises. For instance, my nephew received the latest Iphone⁵ on his sixteenth birthday, but he spent hours on playing candy crush. Only two months later, his parents had to make him give the phone away because they could not supervise⁶ their son’s screentime.  

However, others suggest that teenagers need to have smartphones because these devices help them with their study⁷. Many teenagers use smartphones to look up important information, download study apps, and even take online classes. Due to these various purposes, teenagers should not share their smartphones with others⁸, so that they can fully focus on their study⁹ or research at schools¹⁰. This can be seen in Vietnam where most highschool¹¹ students have their own smartphones. They are allowed to bring their devices to schools¹² and use them during specifice lessons like IT and English to find the latest articles online for their study projects.  

In my opinion, I agree witht the second viewpoint¹³ because smartphones play an important role in teenagers’ academic progress. They need to use these devices to access online information related to their subjects or join online classes and meetings. Though distractions like online games are frequent, they can be reduced if parents and teachers control teenagers’ time spent on¹⁴ smartphones more strictly.  

In conclusion, many people think that teenagers should not have their own smartphones, whiles other belive¹⁵ that these devices are important. In my opinion, I agree with the second viewpoint because smartphones assist teenagers in their study¹⁶.  

(35 mins)

1. Không cần thiết ↩︎
2. –> many of them to study
   (Bổ sung đại từ làm rõ nghĩa cho câu hơn) ↩︎
3. –> over their phone usage ↩︎
4. –> ignoring
   Spend time ON something
   Spend time Doing sth (ko cần giới từ ON) ↩︎
5. –> iPhone ↩︎
6. –> control ↩︎
7. –> studies ↩︎
8. –> have their own smartphone ↩︎
9. –> studies ↩︎
10. –> do research at school ↩︎
11. –> high school ↩︎
12. –> their school ↩︎
13. –> the second viewpoint is correct ↩︎
14. –> the time teenagers spend on ↩︎
15. –> while others believe ↩︎
16. –> studies ↩︎

Writer’s note

Bài này là bài viết tiêu biểu cho việc học tài thi phận đây các bạn.  

Nhiều bạn học giỏi tiếng anh nhưng đi thi bị 6.0 hay 6.5 vì sao, mình phân tích như sau để các bạn rõ nhé. 

Như bài mẫu ở trên, điểm thành phần các tiêu chí như sau: 

• CC: 7.0 
• GR: 8.0 
• Vocab: 8.0 
• TA: 4.0  

Chia ra trung bình thì bài TASK 2 này chị giáo bị 6.5.  

Lý do là vì đoạn opinion ở cuối, ý lặp với đoạn body paragraph thứ 2.

Như mình đã chia sẻ ở các bài trước, nhiều khi 1-2 band điểm chênh nhau nằm ở một – hai câu viết thôi ý!  

Ở phần 2, mình viết lại để sửa cho điểm TA lên khoảng 7.5, mời các bạn tham khảo nha!!

Check out kho sample essay cho IELTS Writing của COTE tại đây nha!